PLEASE HELP!

WHO I AM:

Hi! My name is Lowen (Lo Fallow 🐕✨). I’m a disabled, queer creative living in poverty, seeking aid with financial independence.I used to write short erotic fiction quite prolifically (2012-2017), and for a short period of time (2013-2019) I was working as a travelling pet sitter for exotic, high maintenance, and stranger reactive pets (ie. animals you can’t kennel easily). I wanted to go to school to be a psychologist, an educator, and eventually an animal behaviorist; however, around 2018, my symptoms became so debilitating that I found myself no longer able to complete jobs within the standard I’d set for myself, and I had to withdraw from both my business and my schooling.My hope was to eventually return to everything I once loved, but even with my best efforts, I fear I am still standing in place due to my financial insecurity. I’m better in some ways, but not enough for me to get back to my career (or, life).

Why I Need Help:

I currently live in a house under the name of my father, who was abusive to my mother, my younger sister, and myself in my youth. He has grown into a manipulative, violent, and unreliable landlord who keeps spending our rent money on his own needs, threatening us with the loss of our house, and lying to extended family about our participation in finances-- but he is the only option I have as far as shelter. I cannot currently afford to go elsewhere, and I am not well-enough to maintain a job that would allow me to go elsewhere in the near future. I also have no genuine, stable relationship with anyone in my blood family other than my sister-- who I already live with, and am partly financially supported by.My sister and partner cover my portion of the rent, and have since we all moved in together in 2019. My partner does her best to also keep me fed and medicated on her own, while my sister helps maintain my dog's (Omen) health via food and veterinary medicine.Other than this, I have no money of my own. In 2018, I had an acceptable amount of money in my savings but, due to various hardships over the years, that money is all gone today.My sister deserves to live on her own, and to work on building her own future, but has instead opted to keep helping me stay housed. This makes me feel like a burden. I also fear my partner feels tied to me financially, which causes a strain on us that she doesn't deserve. Those who are close to me know that I often consider permanent ways out of this situation. Begging for money online has always been Plan Z.

I was neglected by both of my parents growing up largely because I was sick. I have never known a life without the label of "financial burden" and it has cost me greatly. I carry a lot of guilt alongside my illness and my inability to pay for my own life.I am still seeking diagnosis for the physical symptoms I have dealt with since childhood, but I believe myself to have ME/CFS, which was worsened by medical neglect. I have been unable to seek proper diagnosis due to my limited funds, time, and energy-- and I’m obviously open to being wrong about my specific diagnosis, but the fact of the matter is that I’m sick and I’m not getting better tomorrow.I have also been diagnosed with cPTSD and OCD, and suffer daily from chronic pain, fatigue, agoraphobia, periods of mutism, and catatonia induced by fear/panic; as such, I am extremely limited, both physically and mentally.

WHAT I AM ASKING:

What I need is money. The likelihood of this page being linked in association with a specific plea for financial help is high. I have been trying desperately for years to build up my savings again so that I could have the funding to support myself, get better, and then maybe get us out of here. The ultimate dream is to someday be so far away from my family that they can't hurt me anymore; however, for now, I'm still drowning. We're both drowning. The world often feels stacked against us.Since originally stepping away from my career, I have tried to get on SSI multiple times. It’s difficult, as it is a difficult process in general, and because I was still largely under the medical control of my abusers until last year I also have almost no medical history to speak of.I am trying my best, but until my "best" is better, I must rely on the kindness of strangers (like you).

I appreciate everyone who has helped with boosting this page, my posts about fundraising, and everyone who has already donated in what ways they can. Some have reached out directly to offer a helping hand in leu of money, and that means the world to me as well. I’m really bad at staying on top of my social life, so to know there are people who care about me at all is an immense feeling.You can also help by buying off our wishlist, or buying from my RedBubble shop.Thank you for you time, and thank you for your consideration.

PayPal: [email protected]
Cash.app: $witchridden
Partner's Venmo: @aday95